Going through a file cabinet recently I rediscovered some notes I took a number of years ago on a book that looked interesting to me. The book was entitled The 7 Worst Things Good Parents Do. Those seven worst things are listed below.
I think it is a fascinating list that invites personal reflection and that can serve as an excellent springboard for discussion. Of course, a list this good also invites us to think about it through the lens of choice theory. What elements of choice theory come to mind as you read the statements on the list? Which statements stand out to you as especially relating to choice theory? Does choice theory help us to better understand any of these statement?
I would very much like to hear your thoughts on this.
The 7 Worst Things Good Parents Do
1. Baby your child.
2. Put your marriage last.
3. Push your child into too many activities.
4. Ignore your emotional or spiritual life.
5. Be your child’s best friend.
6. Fail to give your child structure.
7. Expect your child to fulfill your dreams.
Friel, J. and Friel, L. (1999). The 7 worst things good parents do. New York: Barnes & Noble.
The Better Plan . . 
My thoughts are coming from a teacher’s perspective…….scary part is that the parents often think they are doing the “right” thing. Our school is having it outdoor education experience next week and I have a handful of parents that won’t even let their child experience this since they can’t be with them 24/7. I didn’t even know how to handle this because I find the hovering sooo odd!
The connections to Soul Shaper concepts are profound. We have to teach our children that the power of choice is ultimately theirs while at the same time helping them to understand what an incredible gift this choice is, and that how it is used will ultimately determine their future in this life and through eternity.
Thanks for sharing this list. I am posting it in our school’s newsletter.
The first thing that came into my mind as I read the list was: “I would really like to be my child’s best friend”. Maybe the author has in mind a “best friend” who is not to trust, or who does not take responsibility as a grown up should when danger arrives? Or that if you are friends with your child, you always have to agree when he/she suggests what to do? Does not a friend respect a friend? I have experienced though that trying to be a child’s friend to help him/her, I have to be careful and take care of my own integrity. And that is sometimes difficult..
For me some focal points of Choice Theory are Identifying, Understanding, and Meeting needs of the “whole body” accurately, appropriately and effectively. What I see here is the need for a sensitive and gentle balance between using this process on both ourselves and our entire family.