Zero Tolerance Is Out, Making Amends Is In

The cover article of a recent ASCD Education Update newsletter was titled, The Path to Least Suspensions, which got my attention, although it was the subtitle – For minor offenses, zero tolerance is out and making amends is in – that really got my attention.

Rather than harsher responses involving punishment, schools are “embracing alternative student discipline” which includes strategies like volunteer opportunities, cool-off periods designed to de-escalate a problem before it turns into something bigger, and cultural competency training.

Schools are beginning to view discipline differently, with some seeing it as a commitment to restorative justice. “Unlike traditional punitive discipline policies,” the article explains, “restorative justice focuses on repairing a harm that was committed—whether to another student or teacher or to the school community –rather than simply meting out a punishment.”

Donna Chewning, a school mediator in Richmond, Virginia, admits that “restorative justice can sometimes be misunderstood as being Kumbaya for everybody,” but points out that “schools and districts that have embraced restorative practices are seeing notable outcomes.”

Other strategies mentioned in the article that seem complimentary to Choice Theory include –

+ Restorative Circles, which sound similar to a Problem-Solving class meeting.

+ Time out or cool off areas that are staffed by adults who are there to support them, rather than punish them.

+ In-school, instead of out-of-school suspensions.

+ Teachers learning to use restorative dialogue with students to build relationships and better understanding.

+ Asking reflective questions like What actually took place? How were people affected? What responsibility can you take? How can we come to a solution so this doesn’t happen again? and How can we get along better?

A key piece of restorative justice is about students righting their wrongs or making amends. “Students can clean up the mess that they made,” Chewning says, “and in doing so can learn something.” Students might ask to be sent home for a couple of days – Just suspend me they plead – instead of working through the restorative justice steps, however schools are sticking to the process and seeing good results.

Making amends sounds a lot like Restitution, a school discipline practice Glasser rejected, along with all other forms of school discipline programs, in 1996. I wrote about Glasser’s 1996 decisions in detail in his biography – Champion of Choice. The strong position he took causes me to pause when I see articles like this one. He was convinced that any focus on the student being the problem or on changing the student would backfire and cause more harm than good. Discipline programs at their core, he pointed out, were all focused on changing the student.

It is possible that the trend toward making amends instead of punishing students is showing improvement compared to the awful results of the coercion/punishment system it is replacing, yet at its core can still be missing the mark. The idea of making amends is a more humane, more need-satisfying approach, but it, too, will ultimately backfire if educators are applying it in an externally controlling way. This is what Glasser was trying to alert us to.

Teachers have admitted to me that, after learning about Choice Theory, they eventually resorted to using “internal control” strategies in an externally-controlling way. After experiencing a Choice Theory class they were good at first with being more Choice-Theory-like, but then they felt themselves slipping back into old habits. There is something remarkably appealing about external control.

Making amends can be applied in a spirit of external control, which is not good, however I think it can be applied in a spirit of internal control instead, which can be powerful. It is powerful, for instance, when you see a student resolve a wrong and in the process also see shame being replaced with dignity; it is powerful when you see confidence return and relationships restored.

The book Education, written by Ellen White in 1903, described this very situation –

The true object of reproof is gained only when the wrongdoer himself is led to see his fault and his will is enlisted for its correction. When this is accomplished point him to the source of pardon and power. Seek to preserve his self-respect and to inspire him with courage and hope.   Education, p. 292

The spirit of Choice Theory has to be present for the process of restoration to work. Making amends is better than traditional punishment, but if applied coercively will lead to resentful, rather than restored, students.

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Happy Fathers’ Day!!

Today is graduation day (June 18, 2017) at Pacific Union College, where I teach in the teacher credential program. We have an outdoor graduation and it is slated to get to 105 degrees today. It is only supposed to get to 92 by the time the ceremony is over, though, so bring a jacket.

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Looking forward to The Better Plan 1 class beginning a week from tomorrow here at PUC (June 26-29). It is very need-satisfying for me to witness people in the process of discovering how Choice Theory can change their lives in significant ways!

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The two books that I have written — Soul Shapers: A Better Plan for Parents and Educators (2005) and William Glasser: Champion of Choice (2014) — both comment on issues related to today’s blog post. There is a chapter in Soul Shapers called Getting Into and Out of Trouble that presents the process of redemptive discipline; and the chapter in Champion of Choice called Decision in Australia gives a comprehensive explanation of Glasser’s decision to reject school discipline programs. Both books are available in hard copy or digitally.

VENTURES Interview Available for a Short Time

I’m sure you know how much I love the work of Dr. Bill Glasser, known as Choice Theory, Reality Therapy and Lead Management. It’s had such a big impact on my life and work, and it’s very effective at helping people to build stronger relationships with themselves and those around them.
I was recently featured in an interview on an online program called VENTURES, which has been created to build the global Glasser community and extend the legacy of Dr. Glasser’s work around the world. This interview is available online now, and they’ve opened up a window so that the [people in my world can watch it… but it is a time-limited opportunity. The video will be available for a sneak peek for only the next 10 days… after that, this special promo page will be taken down, and it will only be available to subscribers.
CLICK HERE to watch it now.
I’m really excited about the work of VENTURES, and I encourage you to become a subscriber. Every month VENTURES releases new content specifically created to inspire, support and extend the ideas of Dr. Glasser. The people behind VENTURES are Jean Seville Suffield, President of Glasser Canada, and Lynn Sumida, Senior Faculty for Glasser International. They, together with newcomer Paul Johnson, have been working tirelessly to launch this project, and I’m so happy to both support and recommend them to you.
The biography is such a good way to meet the man, but it is also a great way to learn about his ideas.

The book that connects the dots of William Glasser’s ideas and his career.

The biography can be purchased from the William Glasser Inc. bookstore at wglasserbooks.com.

It can also be purchased through Amazon at this link.

A digital version of the book can be purchased from the publisher at this link. All formats are available.

Also, signed copies can purchased from me. Let me know.
If you have read the book I encourage you to post a review on Amazon or even on your Facebook page. Let’s continue to get the word out on mental health and happiness.

Always Default to Compassion

By my definition, she is a special missionary. The article she wrote doesn’t talk about which religion she follows, or that she is of any religious persuasion at all. Yet, as an urban middle school teacher where 99% of the students, because of grinding poverty, receive free lunch, she fits that definition in my book.

Elizabeth Peyton teaches at an urban middle school for refugee and immigrant kids. In describing herself she writes, “I spend all day with the most challenging, hilarious, exhausting group of people I can imagine, and I’m extremely grateful for it!” Her love, enthusiasm, and insight caught my eye and the points she made in her article took on a special significance to me.

A 12 year veteran teacher, Peyton admits that early in her career she tried to rely on everything from discipline models that sweated the small stuff to positive reward systems that affirmed the good stuff. Such strategies might in some way work for some, but she has embraced another approach. “Here’s the secret I’ve found for working with poor kids,” she writes. “You ready? It’s pretty simple. Always default to compassion.”

What does compassion look like and sound like? She offers –

A kid shows up late. “Everything ok. We missed you.”

A kid doesn’t have his homework for the fourth time this week. “Hey, is something going on that making it hard for you to get your work done? This is really important, and I want to make sure you’re able to do what you need to do.”

A kid throws a tantrum in class. “Wow, you’re really struggling with self-control. Can you tell me why? Are you hungry or tired?”

For those whose basic needs are being met, it is all too easy to underestimate the trauma kids experience outside of school (and sometimes, unfortunately, in school). When mom and dad are under stress, when living conditions are at risk on a daily basis, when it is “tough to sleep because people are constantly screaming or shooting off guns in your neighborhood,” it is hard to get homework done and even to be able to concentrate in school.

Peyton shared a situation she worked through that really represents what she is trying to say –

Starting with compassion increases the odds that you’ll find out what’s really going on and be able to actually help your students. A couple of years ago, one of my girls stopped doing her homework and paying attention in class. As a new teacher, I’d have assigned a detention and hoped that solved the problem.

Instead, I asked her what was going on. I found out that her dad – her sole surviving parent – had been arrested the week before for driving without a license. This seventh grader had been living on her own for close to a week, and getting herself to school on time every single day, but the food was running out and she was hungry and afraid. We bought her groceries and bailed her dad out, and her grades went right back to where they should have been.

Compassion builds relationships,
where a more aggressive approach will burn bridges.

Will kids ever take advantage of this kind of compassion? Peyton says that it has happened to her, but not very often. Compassion more often leads to the truth, and for that reason, she points out, “it’s better to err on the side of understanding than to be overly harsh.”

Punitive discipline is harmful wherever and whenever it is used, but especially so to vulnerable students. In the end, Peyton offers, “Compassion is the way out. I don’t promise it’ll solve all your classroom management problems, but it’ll go a long way. Treat a kid like a decent person and, more often than not, he or she will act like one.”

I don’t know if she has had Choice Theory training, but if not, Elizabeth Peyton is well on her way to being a Choice Theory teacher. Because they tap into principles and the deeper truths of life, she discovered the ineffectiveness and harm of the Deadly Habits and the effectiveness and healing of the Caring Habits.

 

Besides William Glasser, an architect of Choice Theory, I recall another choice theorist who would very much agree with Ms. Peyton. That other choice theorist, Ellen White, an insightful, and even inspired educator, wrote in 1903 –

In gentleness teachers will set before the wrongdoer his errors and help him to recover himself. Every true teacher will feel that should he err at all, it is better to err on the side of mercy than on the side of severity.   Education, p. 294

I wrote a book comparing William Glasser’s ideas to those of Ellen White, an unlikely duo, yet their beliefs are amazingly similar. That book is called Soul Shapers: A Better Plan for Parents and Educators (2005). Should I ever update Soul Shapers, I would definitely want to include the ideas of Elizabeth Peyton, too.

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Just a reminder: I will be teaching a summer class at PUC based on Choice Theory concepts called The Better Plan. It would be great to have you be a part of it. Get in touch with me if you have questions.

The Better Plan 1   June 26-29

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 It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.
e.e. cummings

 

Naughty? 10 Ways Kids Appear To Be Acting Bad, But Aren’t

As I read through the list of “naughty” behaviors, I had to admit the author, Dr. Erin Leyba, was onto something. Erin has a blog and a website called “the joy fix for parents,” which you can find at thejoyfix.com. Approaches like Joyful Parenting and Gentle Parenting, like Choice Theory, remind us to view child behavior through a more thoughtful lens, a lens that sees them developmentally, rather than as pests that need to be squelched.

I pass on the 10 behaviors below, also quoting the article (which you can access by clinking on this Psychology Today link), and also adding a Choice Theory comment here and there.

 1 Not Controlling Impulses
Ever say to your kid, “Don’t throw that!” and they throw it anyway? Research suggests that the brain regions involved in self-control are immature at birth and don’t fully mature until the end of adolescence, which explains why developing self-control is a long, slow process.

Choice Theory: This developmental reality doesn’t at all mean we ignore impulsive behavior; it should remind us to respond to their behavior in a more level, gentler manner.

 2 Overstimulation
We take our kids to Target, the park, and their sister’s play in a single morning, and inevitably see meltdowns, hyperactivity, or outright resistance. Jam-packed schedules, overstimulation, and exhaustion are hallmarks of modern family life.

Choice Theory: We often expect kids to have the same levels of interest and stamina that we have as adults, and in doing so we neglect what kids all need a lot of – that being time to just relax. A meltdown may be the result of the circumstances – no nap, late bedtime, skipping a meal, too much sugar – we have created.

 3 Core Conditions
Ever been “hangry” – angry because you’re hungry – or completely out of patience due to sleep deprivation? Little kids are affected tenfold by such “core conditions” of being tired, hungry, thirsty, over-sugared, or sick.

4 Expression of Big Feelings
As adults, we’ve been taught to tame and hide our big emotions, often by stuffing them, displacing them, or distracting them. Kids can’t do that yet.

Choice Theory: Again, it’s not that such behavior shouldn’t be addressed or confronted; rather it’s about teaching and coaching kids on how to deal with their feelings. It can be as simple as “Use your words,” rather than going into a punishment mode.

 5 Developmental Need for Tons of Movement
Instead of calling a child “bad” when they’re acting energetic, it may be better to organize a quick trip to the playground or a stroll around the block.

Choice Theory: I saw a sign on a K/1 classroom wall that read: It is stillness that must be justified, not movement. I saw this sign over 20 years ago, but it has been such a significant truth to me that I have never forgotten it.

 6 Developmentally Wired to Resist and Become Independent
Every 40 and 50 degree day resulted in an argument at one family’s home. A first-grader insisted that it was warm enough to wear shorts, while mom said the temperature called for pants. Erik Erikson’s (1963) model posits that toddlers try to do things for themselves, and that preschoolers take initiative and carry out their own plans. Even though it’s annoying when a child picks your tomatoes while they are still green, cuts their own hair, or makes a fort with eight freshly washed sheets, they’re doing exactly what they are supposed to be doing—trying to carry out their own plans, separate, make their own decisions, and become their own little independent people.

Choice Theory: Number 6 really addresses core aspects of Choice Theory, and reminds us that, as parents and teachers, our goal is to help our children become independent as soon as possible. Such independence doesn’t mean “aloneness,” though, as learning to be interdependent is also a needed lifeskill.

 7 Core Strengths that Trip Them Up
We all have core strengths that can also trip us up. Maybe we’re incredibly focused, but can’t transition very easily. Maybe we’re intuitive and sensitive, but take on other people’s negative moods like a sponge. Kids are similar. They may be driven in school, but have difficulty coping when they mess up (e.g. – yelling when they make a mistake). Recognizing when a child’s unwelcome behaviors are really the flip side of their strengths—just like ours—can help us react with more understanding.

8 Fierce Need for Play
Your kid paints her face with yogurt, wants you to chase her and “catch her” when you’re trying to brush her teeth, or puts on daddy’s shoes instead of her own when you’re racing out the door. Some of kids’ seemingly “bad” behaviors are what John Gottman calls “bids” for you to play with them. Kids love to be silly and goofy. They delight in the connection that comes from shared laughter and love the elements of novelty, surprise, and excitement. Play often takes extra time and therefore gets in the way of parents’ own timelines and agendas, which may look like resistance and naughtiness even when it’s not.

9 Reaction to Parents’ Moods
Multiple research studies on emotional contagion have found that it only takes milliseconds for emotions like enthusiasm and joy, as well as sadness, fear, and anger, to pass from person to person, and this often occurs without either person realizing it. Kids especially pick up on their parents’ moods.

10 Response to Inconsistent Limits
At one ball game, you buy your kid M&Ms. At the next, you say, “No, it’ll ruin your dinner,” and the kid screams and whines. When parents are inconsistent with limits, it naturally sets off kids’ frustration and invites whining or yelling. Just like adults, kids want and need to know what to expect.

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Again, I want to thank Erin Leyba for the great points she shared in her blog, many of them excerpted from her recent book, Joy Fixes for Weary Parents. Kids don’t come with instructions and often we treat them like they are little adults intentionally making our lives difficult. Leyba reminds us that children usually act the way they way they do because that is how babies or toddlers or children act. Our role as teachers and parents is to gently and compassionately teach them, as they mature, how to behave appropriately given the circumstances.

For me, one of the big Choice Theory reminders is that human beings are born with an internal system of motivation and behavior and that internal system remains in place throughout our lives. And thus, the significant adults in a child’s life have the privilege of helping that child become aware of his internal guidance system and the implications of his power of choice. It’s a pretty cool privilege, really!

 

What Do Women Most Desire?

What do women most desire? Some would say the answer to this question is elusive, even though we have known for almost 600 years. Indeed, the answer was clearly shared within the 15th century romance tale – The Wedding of Sir Gawain and Dame Ragnelle. Few are aware of this important tale, but through unique advantages that I possess as a professor in a teacher credential program I have learned the secret.

One of my roles involves the supervision of student teachers. I set up student teaching placements in local schools, and then coach and mentor students toward mastering the essentials of teaching. One of the benefits of being a supervisor is that I get to be in classrooms. I get to observe classrooms in action. From the elegance of Math problems to the English class challenge of writing an impactful paper on the book The Chocolate War; from the fun of learning to hit a forehand on a tennis court in Physical Education to a Social Studies debate on the issue of building a wall along the U.S. / Mexican boarder, these are the kinds of rich learning experiences I get to observe. It is common for me, actually, immediately after leaving a classroom in which I have been observing, to get out my iPhone and order a book I just saw the classroom discussing. Their dialogue inspired me so much that I had to read it, too. Such was the source of my learning of The Wedding and, more importantly, the secret of what women most desire. For it was a high school English class that was studying the tale I am about to share with you. As a result of learning the secret, whether you are man or woman, your life may never be the same again.

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The tale tells of an adventure during the time of King Arthur, a time when “chivalry was paramount.” It begins with King Arthur on a hunting trip. Separated from his knights while chasing a particular deer, he comes upon a knight not of his group, a knight of great might and fully armed. The knight intends to kill King Arthur for a wrong done many years before. Arthur delays the knight’s intention by talking with him and trying to convince him that it is no great thing to kill him when he isn’t in armor or armed really at all. So the knight agrees to let Arthur go for exactly one year, with the agreement that Arthur would return at the end of the year and tell the knight “what women everywhere love best.” If Arthur returned with the answer, he would live, otherwise he would die.

This Arthur agreed to, including that he wasn’t to tell anyone of their deal. But when he went back home many people could tell that he wasn’t himself. Finally, one of his most noble knights, Sir Gawain, approached him and asked what was wrong. Arthur ended up telling him about the unfortunate incident in the forest and the need for him to come up with what women truly desire most.

Gawain quickly came up with a plan. He would get on a horse and ride in one direction and Arthur would get on a horse and ride in the other direction, whereupon, as they rode far and near, they would ask people what their answer would be to this question. Surely, the answer would eventually come out of all this wisdom. The king liked the idea and they each set upon a journey of many months seeking the answer to this important, yet puzzling, question.

While on his journey Arthur met a lady that was as loathsome a creature as he had ever met. “Her face was red, and her nose dripped snot; her mouth was wide; her teeth were completely yellowed, and she had bleary eyes larger than a ball. Her mouth was overly large; her teeth hung over her lips.” There were many more details describing her foulness, but you get the picture.

Quite quickly the lady hailed the king and confidently explained that she knew the answer to his plight. She knew the secret; she knew what women most desire. “Grant me, sir, just one thing, and I guarantee you will live.” The king was not pleased with this lady, but he inquired as to what she wanted. In reply, she said “You must grant me a knight to marry. And his name is Sir Gawain.”

The king said he couldn’t do this and that it wasn’t for him to decide who Gawain would marry. But the lady was adamant, stating again that she could save his life. So the king reluctantly agreed to see what he could do.

When the king met Gawain he was discouraged, certain that he would die. Soon he shared with Gawain the offer of the foul lady and the deal she wanted in trade for her wisdom. As noble a knight as ever was, Gawain quickly agreed to marry her. “I shall marry her and marry her again. Even is she were a fiend. Even if she was as foul as Beelzebub. I will wed her, or could I really be your friend?

And so the king met again with the foul lady, whose name was Dame Ragnelle, and let her know that Gawain would indeed marry her. “Now,” said Arthur, “tell me your answer at once and save my life.” Ragnelle reviewed aloud many of the things that men thought women wanted – to be beautiful, to be in friendship with many wonderful men, to have pleasure in bed, to wed often, to be young, etc. “But there is one thing,” she said, “that we all fantasize about. Above all other things we desire from men to have sovereignty.” By this she meant that women want the ability to choose, whatever the situation may be. Sovereignty.

So the king went on his way and at the appointed time, exactly one year after first meeting the awful knight, met him where they had met before. Arthur told the knight what women most desire and the knight had to agree that it was a right and good answer. Arthur’s life was spared.

Gawain, though, believing in chivalry as he did, had to go ahead and marry Ragnelle. In spite of her ugliness, Gawain pledged his fidelity to her. People cried at the wedding for Gawain, but he married her nonetheless. During the reception banquet, true to her loathsome ways, Ragnelle ate more than any other guests. She probably ate more than any three guests put together.

Later that night, Gawain and Ragnelle were in their chamber when Gawain turned to her and instead of seeing an ugly, loathsome woman, he saw the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He rejoiced at her beauty, and embraced her, but she interrupted him.

“Sir,” she said, “thus shall you have me.
Choose one—may God save me,
My beauty will not be permanent—
Whether you will have me fair at night
And ugly by day to all men’s sight,
Or else to have me fair by day
And at night one of the foulest women.
One of these you must have.
Choose one or the other.
Choose one, Sir Knight, whichever pleases you more.”

“Alas,” said Gawain, “the choice is hard.” And he thought about which choice would be best, the advantages and disadvantages to each. In the end, though, he said –

“My beautiful Lady, do as you please.
I put the choice in your hands.
Just as you wish—I give you control.
Free me when you choose, for I am constrained.
I give you the choice.”

And because he honored her in this way, the sorcery placed on her by her stepmother was broken. For until the best man in England had truly wedded her, she would appear as the exact opposite of what she was. So courteous, chivalrous Gawain came to her rescue. Out of love for his king and a willingness to keep his promise he came to be with the beautiful Ragnelle.

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The tale, thought to be written around 1450, reveals a great, enduring truth – the human race was built for freedom. We function best, whether man, woman, or child, when we have autonomy and the ability to weigh our choices.

The tale is also a good example of curriculum content that can serve as a springboard to teach the elements of Choice Theory. In this case, the tale could be used to –

+ emphasize the basic need for freedom.

+ identify the Caring Habits and Deadly Habits of characters in the story.

+ examine the role of gender through the centuries since the tale was written.

+ discuss the factors that can contribute to unhappy marriages.

+ consider the concept of chivalry and its relationship to the basic need of freedom.

These are just a few classroom applications from the story. I would love it if you would respond and suggest additional teaching applications. If you have stories that you are already using in this way, it would be great if you could share them with us as well.

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The month of June is just around the corner and with it comes The Better Plan classes that I teach at Pacific Union College as a part of the summer school schedule. Those dates are –

The Better Plan 1   June 26-29

The Better Plan 2   July 5-7

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The Better Plan workshops can also be scheduled at your school, conference, or district. Let me know if you are interested.

Dog Saliva, Pecking Pigeons, and Children

Gwen Webster is standing in the open doorway of her fourth-grade classroom. One moment she is looking out to the playground where most of her students are playing and the next moment she turns to look into the classroom where two students continue to sit. She has kept the two students in because they have not finished their assignment. She had certainly warned them of this possibility, but they wouldn’t get to work, so now she has determined to “increase their concern about finishing the work.”

school_its_way_more_boring_than_when_you_were_there-460x307

 

Except, as she looks back into the classroom, neither Vaughn nor Laurel seems the least bit concerned about their work. And so Gwen stands in the open doorway, fretting just a bit about the cold of the winter morning air exchanging places with the warmth of the heated classroom through that open door, and fretting just a bit that she can’t be with her colleagues, whose classrooms shared this recess time, chatting in a small group out by the playground equipment.

As her frustration grows, Gwen Webster begins to think about other ways to make these kids get their work done. Tony got his work done, although as she looks at the disheveled worksheet that he thrust into her hand before zooming out the field to play football with his classmates she realizes that what he completed barely merits a passing score. Yet he turned something in. What is with these other two kids? she thinks to herself. And so she stands in the doorway, her left side feeling the warmth of the classroom, her right the chill of the winter air, and continues to think about what she needs to do to get Vaughn and Laurel to finish their assignment.

She looks at Laurel, who is quietly reading a book at her desk, seemingly oblivious to her teacher’s concern. And then she looks at Vaughn, who is quietly yet angrily sitting at his desk. Well, he can be as angry as he wants, she again thinks to herself. As far as I’m concerned, he can sit there until the cows come home, but that assignment will get done. She looks at her watch. Still 10 minutes to go for recess.

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This excerpt from Soul Shapers: A Better Plan for Parents and Educators (2005) is based on a common classroom occurrence – that being, students don’t complete work so the teacher comes up with a response intended to make them do it. Let’s continue with the excerpt and see what we can learn from Gwen Webster.

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   Earlier in the morning she had threatened to keep students in from recess if they did not finish their assignment. A number of the students got to work and finished it on time. Was it wrong for Gwen to think that she made them do their work? They hadn’t been doing their work, but she intervened and made them do it. Right? As you are thinking about this, let’s examine the experiences and thinking of several of Gwen’s students, including Laurel and Vaughn, who are still sitting at their desks.

Avery is one of the students out on the playground. He is an excellent student and actually was enjoying the social studies worksheet. He does well in all of his subjects, even the ones he doesn’t particularly like. He likes to read and is good at organizing his thoughts and writing them out afterward. He knows he is considered smart by others and wants to continue to be viewed that way. The approval of his teachers and parents is important to him. When his teacher was threatening his classmates to get to work, Avery was so focused on completing his assignment that he was only vaguely aware of what she was saying. He was now out on the playground, but the fact that he was out there had nothing to do with his teacher threatening him and making him do his work.

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Kendra is also out on the playground, even though she is not known for being an excellent student. Kendra is actually quite bright and is, in fact, gifted in the areas of music and art. She isn’t that exited about reading, and struggles a bit with writing her thoughts out, unless it is lyrics to a song. She was one of the students that got to work when her teacher threatened to keep people in who didn’t finish the assignment. She likes recess and figured the work wasn’t that big of a deal. She also didn’t want to get on her teacher’s bad side. Better to do it now, she figured, than to have to do it at home later. One of her favorite TV shows was on that evening, and there was no sense in jeopardizing that. She didn’t consciously process all of these thoughts, but regardless, she ended up choosing to finish her work on time.

Tony was another matter. He is kinesthetically gifted and seems to be a classroom leader, although his leadership is not always appreciated by his teacher. Actually, he is smart in other ways, too, but so far people have caught only occasional glimpses of the kind of quality work he can produce. He is a good reader and writer when he wants to be.

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On this particular morning he and some of the other boys had been talking about the football game on TV last night, and that had led to some bragging and such; next thing you know, teams had been divided in preparation for the “big game” during the morning recess. Tony took this pretty seriously and was working on getting ready for the game, assigning positions for the guys on his team and making new plays instead of completing his assignment. When he first heard his teacher threatening to keep students in from recess, he looked at the clock and figured he would have time to get it all done. But as recess time grew closer, his thinking changed from I still have time to get this done to She won’t really make us stay in if we don’t have it done.

A conversation Tony overheard between his teacher and Vaughn convinced him that she was serious, though it was too late. Tony panicked as he saw that only kids handing Mrs. Webster a completed assignment could head to the playground. His powers of intelligence kicked in and he scanned the paper to assess what he could do to fix the situation. He quickly realized that while reading the assigned section in the textbook would improve the quality of the answers, one could actually answer the questions without doing the reading. This he quickly proceeded to do.

He presented the assignment, a bit crumpled and a bit hurried, to his teacher while glancing out to the playground to make sure that the teams looked right. “Oh, all right, go ahead,” Gwen Webster said, indicating for Tony to head for the door of freedom to the playground. She could see that his answers were hurried, but he did turn something in. His worksheet might have been hurried, but the three pages of football plays stuffed in his pocket were really quite good.

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All of Tony’s plays were designed on the principle of faking out the other team. Send all of your players to the right, except for a halfback who delays and then goes out to the left. The play is meant to make the defensive team think that the play is heading a certain direction when actually it is going the exact opposite direction. Gwen Webster had just been faked out. As she stood in the doorway telling Tony he could go out to the playground she wasn’t satisfied with the quality of his work, but she did feel that she had succeeded in “making him” do it and turn it in. In fact, this was not true. Tony had reasons of his own, motivations that were important to him, that prompted his choice to get his work done.

That brings us to Laurel and Vaughn, still at their desks, and still not having started the assignment. Laurel sits with her knees curled up to her chest (not easy to do on a classroom chair) and reads a book she has brought from home. She is an excellent reader and a good student, even an excellent student at times. She has an inner strength about her that is noticeable, a self-awareness, if you will. Her answers are thoughtful and usually come from a perspective that is unique compared to that of the rest of her classmates. Her classmates are important to her, and she is also aware of and talented with social connections. She has a tendency to be “up” or “down,” though, which can be hard to figure out until you get to know her.

On this morning a couple of things are on Laurel’s mind. One is not so important, the other is very important. The less important thing is the fact that she left her house this morning without her jacket. She thought she had left it in the car the day before, but when she got to the car it wasn’t there, and they were already running late, so she arrived at school without it. The more important thing has to do with the fact that she and Stephanie are in a tiff, and now some of their mutual friends are involved. Laurel thinks, is sure, in fact, that they are going to snub her at recess. Stephanie is acting as if I should apologize to her and it telling our friends that, when in fact it should be Stephanie apologizing to me, Laurel thought to herself as she sat at her desk, curled up and reading. She didn’t want to have anything to do with any of them. So there! she added silently, yet emphatically.

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Without insightful probing, there isn’t much chance that Gwen would know what is going on in Laurel’s thinking. And the issue for us at the moment isn’t what Gwen could have done or said as much as it is the need for us to realize that Laurel is motivated by thinking and perceptions that are important to her. The teacher’s threats did not overrule the fact that she did not have a jacket and didn’t really want to go outside, or that she was in a tiff with her friends and would just as soon not have to deal with them right then. Laurel is an example of a person who makes a choice, even in the face of threats or punishment, for reasons that have to do with internal motivation.

Vaughn is another such example. Vaughn sits at his desk, still and seething. His little heart is beating a bit faster, and if he had a pencil in his hand at the moment he would probably break it. Vaughn is actually quite bright, but most people miss his brightness and focus on his troubled life. Vaughn is at school because his grandmother is paying for the tuition (she can barely afford it on her fixed income, but the church is helping a bit, too). He lives with his mother (another story in itself) and his little sister. No one seems to know anything about the missing dad.

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Although young, Vaughn already feels that he has to fight to get his “place in life.” He lives by the adage that “it isn’t important that you get good attention or bad attention, as long as you get attention.” To be sure, most of the attention that Vaughn gets is bad attention. Other students care about what their teachers think of them; Vaughn doesn’t seem to. Other students want to go to this school; Vaughn doesn’t. He seems to range from defensive to aggressive, and adults seem to talk a lot about what to do with Vaughn.

He doesn’t read much, as there are almost no books at home. He doesn’t write much either, although he is certainly capable of both. He looked at the social studies worksheet when the teacher handed it out, but nothing on the worksheet grabbed him. It was just one more thing that he was supposed to do in school. He delayed a bit in getting started, since he was somewhat involved with some of the football talk going back and forth. Ted had encouraged him to get his assignment done so that he could be on Ted’s team.

Vaughn was actually getting his textbook out of his desk to get started when Mrs. Webster first announced that anyone not finishing the assignment would not go out to recess. The more he thought about what she said, the more it bugged him. People are always trying to make me do stuff, he thought to himself. I don’t want to do this stupid worksheet anyway. She can’t make me do it. Better yet, maybe they’ll kick me out. At his young age Vaughn had only a vague appreciation for his own reputation, although that sense was growing. Something inside was driving him to be unique, to be himself, to create his niche.

“People behave for TOTALLY personal reasons.”

   Gwen was beginning to engage in a “fight” with Vaughn, though not on purpose. She would not have described it as a competition, but that is what it was. If pressed, Gwen would have said that “for Vaughn’s sake I am going to win this thing.” Again, the key at this point isn’t reviewing what Gwen was doing. The key is understanding that Vaughn sat there seething and determined for reasons totally inside of himself. Regardless of her arsenal of stimuli, Gwen was not going to make Vaughn do much of anything.

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The story of Gwen Webster, Laurel, and Vaughn explains how people behave for totally personal reasons – not occasional personal reasons, not some personal reasons, not even for mostly personal reasons. Again, people behave for totally personal reasons. This is the key to internal control psychology. It is a key to understanding and applying Choice Theory.

Boss-managers firmly believe that people can be motivated from the outside:
they fail to understand that all of our motivation comes from within ourselves.
William Glasser

This excerpt from Soul Shapers is taken from a chapter entitled – Dog Saliva, Pigeons, and Children – which explores the effects of stimulus-response strategies in homes and classrooms. Soul Shapers can be easily accessed through Amazon. I was recently informed by my students that a cheap digital copy of the book is available through Google Books.

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I Have Mixed Drinks About Feelings

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I saw this shirt in a shop window at Pismo Beach, California. We chuckle at its message, but there is so much truth hidden behind the humor. For some of us, after the initial laugh, we shake our heads as we once again admit the message’s implications. It’s funny, but for some it’s not a laughing matter.

It is interesting how tied into our feelings we are; and how obsessed we are at having some sort of control over them. We crave this ability to affect our feelings a great deal! And we will go to unbelievable lengths for relief from them! One woman, wanting to change her overall diet, admitted that she had been spending around $100 a week on alcohol; another person describes his constant battle to get his hands on more Oxycontin; while yet another admits an obsession with pornography. Whether it is legal or illegal drugs, coffee or valium, food or sex, gambling or shopping, we identify and practice behaviors that change neurotransmitter levels in our brain, which then provides some sort of short term relief from our pain, frustration, worry, or boredom. Based on the data regarding things like drug sales – both legal and illegal, online viewing, and gambling profits, to name a few, the drive to affect our feelings is compelling and constant.

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Wanting to feel better is not bad in itself. In fact, it is a good goal. The problem lies in the shortcuts we choose to achieve feeling good. I heard one person describe how trying to feel right or better through a shortcut is like buying mental health on credit from an unscrupulous and tough loan shark. Sooner, rather than later, you will need to pay up, or you go into even worse debt, which many do.

“One of the great gifts of choice theory
is that it frees people from the tyranny of their feelings.”

One of the great gifts of choice theory is that it frees people from the tyranny of their feelings. Rather than being victims of our feelings, tossed to and fro by their whims, we come to understand their true role in our behavior. Rather than seeing our feelings as all-important, the central point around which other parts of our behavior revolve, we begin to see they are only as important as we make them. And rather than pursuing shortcuts to affect our feelings, shortcuts that may even be destructive to our health and our relationships, we choose behaviors that bring our feelings into line with good mental health.

The tires on a car are used to represent the four parts of total behavior.

The tires on a car are used to represent the four parts of total behavior. (Better to say – All behavior is purposeful.)

To me, this gift of choice theory is one of the most important things we can teach to our children. Really understanding the concepts of Total Behavior and the implications of our feelings being one of the back tires of the Total Behavior car is a permanently life-changing epiphany. We can directly (intentionally) control our thinking and our actions; as we do, our feelings and our physiology will come into agreement with them. Of course, the opposite will be true, too. If we choose to focus on our feelings, which we have no direct control over, then our thinking and our actions will come into agreement with that focus. Some have pointed out that focusing on feelings first is like driving our lives in reverse, not an effective arrangement. Or like a sixth grade student pointed out after learning about Total Behavior – “It’s like a back seat driver, like someone is controlling the car from the back seat.”

The goal is to be in a state of good mental health, but that is difficult when we dance to the tune of our feelings. God certainly desires us to experience good mental health and the purpose, love, power, freedom, and joy that goes with it. The apostle Paul said as much when he wrote –

For God has not given us a spirit of fear,
but of love, power, and a sound mind.

2 Timothy 1:7

Classroom Ideas

+ Put up a large poster of the Total Behavior car and explain what the parts of the car mean.

+ Get a large toy vehicle to display in the classroom, with each of the Total Behavior pieces labeled on the car.

+ When reading about characters in a story – especially during History or Bible class – ask students to consider how the character’s behavior relates to the Total Behavior car. Was he or she, for instance, focusing on the front tires or the back tires when behaving as they did? How did their behavior change during the story?

+ How does a person’s life change when the back tire of feelings is inflated to a bigger size than the rest of the tires? Can you think of a time when a character from the Bible had a “way too big” feeling tire?

+ When problem-solving, practice shifting focus from the feeling tire to the thinking tire. Help students recognize the change in their feelings as their thinking changes.

Elementary level teachers will want to check out a great idea from one of their colleagues regarding the Total Behavior car. You can access that idea by clicking on the following picture –

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Reality Influences Perception; Perception Creates Reality

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Sophie Sims-Stapleton turned onto her street and could see them as plain as day. It wasn’t day, of course. It was actually twilight, the evening fast approaching as street lights started to come on, the darkness slowly draping the neighborhood. Her commute had taken a bit longer this evening, which had prompted her to abandon her plans to stop at Safeway on the way home, but even in the twilight she could clearly see them. All three of them, standing in front of her house like sentinels – the brown one, the green one, and the blue one. Except they weren’t sentinels; they were trash cans, standing somewhat askew after the trash truck had emptied them with its robotic arm and unceremoniously dropped them back onto the pavement. And now they were chiding her with a message as clear as their bold colors, that message being, You don’t matter!

As she neared the house she could see her husband’s car already parked in the driveway, which seemed to grind salt in her festering wound. Hadn’t she and Greg, her husband, talked about this at length last week, after the cans had sat in front of the house for three days following trash day, both of them expecting the other to bring the cans to the side yard where they were stored during the week. The two of them had quietly and sullenly dug in, both acting like they hadn’t noticed the cans in front of the house, even though it was difficult to park with them sitting where the trash truck had ditched them.

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“Why can’t you just bring them in?” she pleaded. “You usually get home first.”

“I usually do,” he retorted, “but why can’t you bring them in once in a while? I help around the house, seems like you could help with some of the outdoor stuff now and again.”

Truth be told, she felt that her job was more stressful, and basically more important than his, and that he should pick up more of the chores at home. It bothered her that he could act, through his ignoring of the trash cans, like he was somehow equal to her. He had reminded her of the things weighing on him at work, as well as at church, with all the time he was donating to the needs of the building committee, and she had momentarily relented, even as she harbored a sense of resentment toward his laziness and stubbornness. In the end, they had gone out and brought in the trash cans together, which kind of felt good, like they had solved a problem through communicating and respect.

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Yet now, just a few days later, the trash cans once again were askew in front of the house, with big grins on the front of them (at least as far as she was concerned), driving home the point that her needs didn’t matter. As she navigated around the blue recycle can to park in her usual place, her thoughts were not positive.

I kind of hate him, she thought to herself. Why can’t he just bring in the freaking trash cans? Seeing his car parked in its usual place she got even angrier. He’s been home for how long? A half hour? An hour? That’s plenty of time to bring in a few trash cans. Jeez! Why do I have to nag him? His laziness makes me crazy!

The thought occurred to her to bring in the trash cans herself, but she responded gruffly to such an idea. That would be totally non-supportive of her goal. There are responsibilities for which he needs to step up to the plate, and this is one of them. She laughed at herself for even entertaining the thought of bringing the cans in herself. True, during last week’s discussion on this very point she had agreed that sometimes she could bring in the cans, too, but she pushed this memory aside now. Instead, the thought occurred to her to place one of the cans directly behind his car so that he would have to move it in the morning.

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The front porch was dark, which added to her anger fuel. If he gets home first, can’t he at least turn on the porch lights as a courtesy to others that come home later? How did I marry this jerk? What was I thinking?

She put the finishing touches on her anger and frustration, all of it completely merited and defensible, as she covered the final steps to the front door. Which persona to be she wondered as she unlocked the door – should I go with lashing-out anger or should I go with the silent treatment? Full of appropriate disgust she entered a dark house. What’s going on? she thought.

“Greg,” she called out. “Greg,” she tried again. But only silence in return. What in the world?

And then a memory slipped across her mind. Her brow furrowed as the audio memory tape in her brain wound into position. She almost declined to press the play button, but her brain seemed to have an automatic play option. Faintly, but growing stronger, the tape said, Honey, I will be home late tonight. Roger is picking me up in the morning, as we have a joint meeting in Forrest City tomorrow for work, and then we are both part of the special board meeting this evening at the church. It may be close to 10:00 when I get home. She recalled the look on his face as he explained his schedule, the way he regretted being away from her for the evening, and a pang of awareness began to overtake her.

She turned the kitchen light on and immediately saw the note he had written, after she had left for work.

Just a reminder that I will be home late tonight.
More meetings at the church.
I’ll get the trash cans in when I get home, though.
Love, Greg.

She stared at that simple note for a long time, her eyes growing wet as the recognition regarding her own anger became clearer and clearer. A tear dropped on to the note, quickly blurring the ink of trash and cans. She had created a story and nurtured it into a reality that she had fully embraced. Her reality had led her to think terrible things about her husband, but she was beginning to see that she had made it all up. All of it. For some reason, she realized, her version of reality applied the worst interpretation to Greg’s behavior, while applying the best interpretation to her own behavior. Another tear dropped onto the note, this time obliterating the word Love.

That can’t happen she thought to herself. Our love can’t be so easily blurred. And with that she returned to the entryway, turned on the porch light, and headed into the night air to get the trash cans and put them away.

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It is true that reality influences our perceptions. Our circumstances can affect any part of our total behavior – our thinking, our acting, our feelings, or our physiology. Information and events external to us may or may not matter. A ringing telephone, as Glasser used to say, lets us know that someone wants to talk with us, but it can’t force us to answer it. An angry, threatening person may convince us to comply with his demand, or it may not. We decide. In fact, we make a ton of these decisions every day. Circumstances constantly hit us with data; we process the data and decide how to respond.

It is just as true that our perceptions create our reality. In fact, this may be one of the most important of the elements of choice theory. It is probably more accurate to say that our embraced perceptions create our reality. When we settle on a value or belief, everything we experience passes through our values filter. The result of this filtering is our version of reality. Our actions are always based on our view of reality, so the importance of this process cannot be overstated.

It can be hard for some to come to grips with the idea that people create their own version of reality. Reality is reality, some say; it isn’t a matter of opinion. For each of us, though, reality is formed in the frontal cortex of our brains, which continuously takes in millions of bits of information and turns it into pictures and sounds and smells. A danger lurks in the belief that our personal pictures and sounds and smells represent total, all-knowing, crystal-clear reality. Such a view cannot tolerate new information and limits itself to shrunken interpretations. Sophie had embraced faulty pictures of Greg, but she was able to admit this when new information corrected her version of reality. This is not always easy to do – Has anyone’s mind been changed, for instance, because of all the political information and articles being shared on Facebook as Election 2016 nears? Exactly, we choose to ignore some articles, even as we consciously click on links to other articles we consider more trustworthy or accurate. Having values is fine, even preferable, but staying open to new information is a healthier state of mind.

Just remember not to jump to conclusions when you round the corner and see those pesky trash cans still sitting out by the road.

 

Generation Adderall

The first time I saw William Glasser in person was at a school improvement conference in Vancouver, Washington, in, as I recall, the fall of 1994. The Evergreen School District, just up the road from where I was school principal in Salem, Oregon, had sponsored the event and invited area-wide teachers to attend. I felt the $100 fee for the two-day event was a bargain and paid for all of my teachers to join me in checking Glasser out in person.

It turned out to be an important event for us as a staff, since the conference contributed to our understanding of control theory (it didn’t become choice theory until two years later) and ultimately toward our taking tangible steps toward becoming a quality school. Besides attending Glasser’s keynote lectures I was also able to attend Diane Gossen’s two-day workshop on Restitution, which became a life-changing set of beliefs for me as a school administrator. I wouldn’t learn until mid-1999 that Glasser would eventually have a problem with Restitution, nor could I have imagined that I would soon become involved with doing research on the formation of Glasser’s beliefs and with becoming his biographer. But I digresss . . .

Glasser on a stool, his water beside him, giving a talk in Ventura (c. 2006)

Glasser on a stool, his water beside him, giving a talk in Ventura (c. 2006)

As I read a recent article in the New York Times Magazine, I was reminded of one of those keynote lectures that Glasser gave over 20 years ago in Vancouver. Sticking to his classic presentation format – a chair or stool, a microphone, and a table with a pitcher of water and a glass on it – Glasser had the audience fully attending to what he was saying. Always able to connect with educators in a special way, he was speaking their language and touching on themes they wanted to know more about. At one point he began talking about the need for school campuses to be drug-free, a belief that his audience seemed to share. As he continued talking on this topic, though, it became clear that he wasn’t just talking about illegal drugs like marijuana, but was in fact also talking about prescription drugs like Ritalin and Adderall. I can still see in my memory banks the row of eight or nine Special Education specialists that took him to task for the position he was taking on brain drugs. They felt such drugs were essential to the successful life of the children with whom they worked. I can also recall the way in which he gently, but firmly, didn’t back down.

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The article in the New York Times Magazine is titled Generation Adderall and is an important read that has been written from a personal perspective. Although brutally honest, the article isn’t preachy. That not being preachy part is an important element that needs to be present for me to be able to recommend it to you. Click on the picture below to access the article.

Click on picture to access the Generation Adderall article.

Click on picture to access the Generation Adderall article. You can also click on the link below.

Generation Adderall

Stories have a special appeal, and the article’s author, Casey Schwartz, is simply telling her story. It is true that with her addiction to Adderall she became a data point in what has become a sea of them in this country. Whether having to do with the percentage of children on brain drugs (I’ve read that something over 20% of 4th and 5th grade boys are now on a brain drug in the US) or the percentage of adults now addicted to pain medications, the numbers are staggering. Casey’s story, though, plus many other articles I am now seeing on a regular basis, calls into question society’s headlong rush toward pills as a solution.

Looking back on my time in the Evergreen School District amphitheater as Glasser patiently called into question a school’s support for brain drugs, I see now that he wanted to prevent the Casey’s of the world from having a difficult Adderall story to share in the first place. Addiction traps us, and even enslaves us. Choice theory is about freedom – freedom from dependence on things like drugs, whether licit or illicit, in our search to be happy and at peace.

addiction is about the spirit’s imprisonment in the flesh

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Glasser said a lot that is easy to understand and readily accept. We sometimes forget, though, that he said a number of powerful statements that clearly swim against public opinion. He believed and wrote, for instance, that mental illness, as defined by his field, does not exist. He believed that although desperate to do so, neither psychiatry nor the drug companies had proven a biological connection to symptomatic psychological behavior. And he believed that brain drugs, while capable of affecting the creativity of the brain, did not address such symptoms in a helpful way.

Taking on psychiatry and the drug companies was not his key goal, although he wouldn’t back down when challenged in these areas. I viewed him as much more focused on the good fight of mental health, rather than on the bad fight of mental illness. He wrote more strongly about brain drugs and the drug companies in his 2003 book, Warning: Psychiatry Can Be Hazardous to Your Mental Health. I dedicated a chapter of his biography to the themes he covered in Warning and I would encourage you to re-read the chapter for a good re-fresher.

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It isn’t often that I write about brain drugs (I’m not an expert), but when I do I want to capture the spirit in which Glasser spoke about them. That being there was no part of him that wanted to criticize someone for taking a brain drug; instead, he wanted to encourage a person with the possibility that they were not biologically diseased, and that they didn’t require help from a drug. He wanted them to consider that their symptoms just might be the result of months or years of deep unhappiness, and that choice theory could teach them how to be happier and more satisfied with their lives.

I ended the Warning chapter in the biography with the following –

During our interviews a couple of years after the Warning book was published, when he was already on to the next project, the idea that mental health was a public health issue rather than a medical problem, I asked him about his “moving on” from the emphasis in the book. The Warning title seemed to sound the battle cry for a full-on, prolonged assault on the psychopharmacology system, yet apparently he had discovered significance in another approach. Thinking out loud to me, almost in a tone that suggested let’s move on, he explained, “I’m damning psychiatry as much as I’m gonna damn it. I’m saying they diagnose diseases that don’t exist, they give drugs that can harm you, and they tell you that you can’t help yourself. That’s about as good as I can do.”

Ultimately, Casey Schwartz discovered she could help herself. This is the preventive foundation I want teachers and schools to be a part of sharing with students. For me, the idea that people can learn to psychologically help themselves is one of Glasser’s most important contributions.

 

 

 

What You Feel Can Change What You See

One of the great insights that we gain from choice theory is the realization that we are constantly in the process of creating our reality. It is difficult to overstate the importance of this concept, since all of our views, our fears, our responses, and our plans are based on our perception of reality.

In a sharp, concise TED talk, Issac Lidsky explains “how what we see is a unique, personal, virtual reality that is masterfully constructed by our brain.” He acknowledges that what we see can change how we feel, but he goes further by also explaining that “what you feel can change what you see.” Citing fascinating studies he points out how subjects’ estimates as to how fast a man was walking was influenced by whether or not they were shown a picture of a cheetah or a turtle; or that subjects believed that a hill was steeper if they had just exercised; or that a landmark appeared farther away when subjects were wearing a heavy backpack. His 11 minute talk follows –


Coming from his own amazingly unique perspective, Lidsky makes a strong case for the way in which “we create our own reality.” Because of this he urged his audience to “hold themselves accountable for every moment and every thought.” This view is one of choice theory’s most important contributions. William Glasser didn’t invent the way in which we create our own reality, but he was one of the early “recognizers” of it. Isaac Lidsky is one of the many who are also recognizing this feature of our human design.

The only thing worse than being blind
is having sight with no vision.
Helen Keller

Consider showing this TED talk to your middle school or high school students. Afterward viewing it, you might consider processing some of the following questions with them –

+ Helen Keller once said that “The only thing worse than being blind is having sight with no vision.” Does Isaac Lidsky have vision and if so, provide examples.
+ What did Lidsky mean when he said that we create our own unique, virtual reality?
+ To what extent do you agree with Lidsky that we feel can change what we see?
+ What does it mean to hold ourselves accountable for every thought?
+ At one point during his early life, Lidsky referred to his view of his life being “a fiction of his fears.” Is his story just one more feel-good yarn, or is he on to something? To what extent do you relate to the possibility that your view of things is a fiction born of your fears?

Hold yourself accountable for every thought.
Isaac Lidsky

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Another excellent video that demonstrates reality being a product of our own creative interpretation is the Season 1: Episode 1 edition of Brain Games, entitled Watch This. Very well done. Your students will be impressed. Lots of material to talk about afterward, as well as a lot of activities to try in your own classroom. You can easily access the episode on Netflix.

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On a personal note –

Ok, so I have recently been diagnosed with a non-Hodgkins form of lymphoma, a cancer known as Waldenstroms, named after a Swedish physician who discovered the disease in 1944. Waldenstroms (WM) is rare, affecting approximately 1,500 people a year in the US (which represents 1/10 of 1% of the 1.6 million people who are diagnosed with cancer in the US each year). It is incurable, but treatable. It affects the body’s ability to create mature, healthy blood cells. In my case, due to a bone marrow biopsy, they know that 70% of my cells are affected by the lymphoma. One of the results of this condition is a lower amount of energy, which I have been experiencing for some time.

I have kept on the run this summer, though – teaching summer school classes, and giving choice theory in-services in Oregon, North Dakota, and Indiana, as well as presenting at a choice theory conference in Japan – and I plan on that to continue. My energy is lower, but not gone. Over the coming weeks I will be considering treatment approaches and schedules. Because we are looking at an immunotherapy approach, rather than a chemotherapy approach, I hope not to miss work or other appointments.

The reality of the situation is still sinking in, but I have incredible support from family and close friends. My faith is strong, which is the most important thing, however I know that my choice theory beliefs will also contribute to my working through this, wherever it may lead.
Like Jesus says –

Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.   John 16:33

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