Last summer (2012) I presented a breakout session on choice theory during the NAD convention in Nashville. In preparation for that breakout I got to thinking about the key beliefs of choice theory and how those beliefs jibed with key beliefs of Christian faith. Glasser developed what he referred to as the 10 axioms of choice theory, belief statements that, to him, were self-evident bedrock foundation points of his approach. I came up with the following belief statements to serve as a springboard for discussion during the convention breakout. I don’t think the list is comprehensive, so I invite you to help me complete it. I am also open to any questions you may have. Here goes —
Choice Theory in a Spiritual Jacket
God created us in His image – with free will being the most impressive of our attributes.
We are designed to create, to think, and to choose.
He created us to be in connection and harmony with Him.
He created us to be in connection and harmony with each other.
Every individual is designed to control himself.
We were not designed to control others.
Neither were we designed to be controlled by someone else.
Since God created us with free will, this would indicate that even God Himself will not control us.
Humans constantly behave.
All behavior is purposeful.
Our actions represent what we think will best meet our needs at that moment.
The only person we can control is our self.
The world of Choice Theory is a responsible world where individuals understand how and why they make choices and then own the results of those choices.
We choose our state of mind, including the misery we feel.
Instead of adults seeking ways to control the behavior of children, often extending this desire to control even into adulthood, their goal should be to wean children from such control as soon as possible.
(Remember that weaning children from our control does not mean weaning them from our guidance and influence. Our influence actually increases as our control decreases.)
Children need to understand their status as free will beings and the power that comes with their ability to make choices.
Schools need to be a part of the process that helps students recognize and embrace their choice power.
Some of you may be curious about Glasser’s 10 choice theory axioms. Just in case, his axioms are listed below as they appear on his website.
The Ten Axioms of Choice Theory
The only person whose behavior we can control is our own.
All we can give another person is information.
All long-lasting psychological problems are relationship problems.
The problem relationship is always part of our present life.
What happened in the past has everything to do with what we are today, but we can only satisfy our basic needs right now and plan to continue satisfying them in the future.
We can only satisfy our needs by satisfying the pictures in our Quality World.
All we do is behave.
All behavior is Total Behavior and is made up of four components: acting, thinking, feeling and physiology.
All Total Behavior is chosen, but we only have direct control over the acting and thinking components. We can only control our feeling and physiology indirectly through how we choose to act and think.
All Total Behavior is designated by verbs and named by the part that is the most recognizable.
The Better Plan . . 
I was especially struck by the last point (Schools need to be a part of the process that helps students recognize and embrace their choice power.) That is such sadly ignored part of class room teaching from kindergarten to graduate school. There is such an incredible need for an “educational reformation” to take place and teaching kids about choice could be an essential part of it.
As a Christian, I believe that no one can understand choice theory fully or experience true freedom until they have come into a personal saving relationship with Jesus, the one who came to “set the captives free” and until they have received the truly amazing, liberating power of His Holy Spirit living in them, guiding them into the freeing fullness of life and love.
Douglas Cooper
In regards to training our children, as parents or teachers, when we have learned how to control ourselves and our behavior toward the child/student, then we can teach them that their behavior is their responsibility and the “teacher” will be the results of their choices. We just have to be willing to let them learn those lessons, which can be life altering for both parties.
Looks very good Jim,
Why we think we control others: Sometimes others choices, in response to our choices, are to a greater or lesser degree predictable. Making it seem that we control their actions.
In His Service,
G. Chris Larson
Teacher K-8, Principal
Kohala Mission School
541-749-8604
I agree, Chris.
One of the activities I do during the Soul Shapers 1 workshop at PUC during the summer is to hold up a $10 bill and say that I will give it to someone willing to do 15 push-ups right then. A couple of hands shoot up, anxious for me to choose them. Other people turn their eyes away from me, hoping I won’t approach them. I then go to individual class members and tell them point blank that I will give them the $10 if they do the push-ups. One by one they decline, even as others in the room are begging me to choose them. Eventually, one of the class members does the push-ups and I hand them the $10 bill.
That is when the discussion really starts. “What just happened here?” I ask. “Did I make him/her do the push-ups?”
Ultimately, they come to see that I created an opportunity, however each class member was responding in a way that worked for them. Some wanted no part of the activity, maybe they couldn’t do even one push-up, maybe they didn’t want to be the center of attention. Some could do the push-ups, but thought that others could use the money more than they could. Some thought it was a stupid activity and didn’t want to be manipulated. The ones that wanted to do the push-ups often admit that they would have done them for nothing. We behave for reasons that are internally important to us.
It is easy to get faked out and think we made a behavior happen, that we were the motivation, but a closer analysis shows otherwise.
If we take this to its extreme everything we do is based on choice, nothing can be forced no matter how much pressure is applied.