An interesting reminder was recently shared on the Mental Health and Happiness website. The focus was on gratitude. Here’s how it read –
Many of our present day gurus, as well as almost all profound guides through the ages, tell us to count our blessings. Because our brain is designed to bombard us with all of the data about how our world is not matching up with what we want, we need to practice how to override this automatic function of our brain.
Life is filled with hard moments, disappointments and difficult challenges. At the same time life is filled with moments of joy, delight and awesome discoveries. Both abound in every day.
And since we are biologically built to focus on the negative we need to practice looking for and celebrating the positive.
The reminder to focus on thankfulness and gratitude is a good one. Absolutely no argument there! The part that is interesting to me, though, is the idea or belief that “we are biologically built to focus on the negative.” According to this view our brains are designed to provide “data about how our world is not matching up with what we want.” Therefore, thankfulness and gratitude are thinking processes in which we “override this automatic function of the brain.” This explanation gave me pause.
During this pause or time of reflection I have come up with a few summary statements –
+ I do believe that our brain is constantly monitoring the status of how what we HAVE compares with what we WANT. (Probably more accurate to say “what we think we HAVE compared with what we think we WANT.”)
+ As far as original design, I think God designed us for internal control, able to achieve harmony between our HAVES and WANTS.
+ Sin and rebellion entering the world hugely affected the ability of human beings to achieve harmony and balance between HAVES and WANTS. What was natural and even easy before now became a struggle.
+ Given this struggle I do believe it is necessary to “override” negative thinking and negative scripts that we practice and rehearse and instead choose to recognize the people, things, and areas in our life for which we can be thankful.
+ I think we were designed for love, belonging, freedom, and joy. I think we were designed for balance and the ability to match our HAVES and our WANTS (without keeping others from achieving their balance, too). I believe there is something deep within each of us that yearns to honor that original design, and that wants to learn to balance the HAVES and the WANTS, even in the midst of the frustration and pain of a sinful world.
What do you think about the idea that we are biologically built to focus on the negative?
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I encourage you to check out Mental Health and Happiness at
mentalhealthandhappiness.com.
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Some of you will be interested to know that the Glasser biography, in its final version, went to the printer this past Tuesday, February 25. Supposedly, it should be available very soon, although the process has taken a bit longer than I anticipated at every step of the way. I will be providing more information on the biography and its availability as soon as I learn of the details.
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CALENDAR CHANGE – Please note that our next Choice Theory Study Group has been changed to March 15 at 2:00 pm. (It was previously scheduled for March 8.)
JIM,Oh, yes, yes: remember the old “comparing stations” which later got renamed “frustrations?” If we didn’t have awareness or the “errors,” we couldn’t improve our lot! (Now there’s a comment on our political situation too.) I remember re-thinking this once maybe a decade ago and deciding I would focus more on what was right, and I actually wrote letters of commendation (you will liaugh here because I once commended a liquor salesman who was willing to try to get the Irish whiskey “Redbreast” for me!) I wrote a letter to an airline commending the air hostress. I was more mindful of being thankful and having an attitude of gratefulness. I realized by doing thse things, these behaviors, I felt better about things—and life—in general. I think the brain CAN work this way too, but since the more primitive part is so habituated in noticing what isn’t what we hope it could be (probably related to our survival) that it almost had to be taught to notice when things go well. I think Bill hinted at it when he taught us “pure Joy” which he later rescinded, but I still think he was getting at the essence of what you have written here. A wise and wonderful piece: thank you.
I think people are very capable of focusing on the negative. In fact, I think a preponderance of human problems stems from this focusing on the negative so much that it gets out of control and becomes a habit or even a default mode of thinking. With insight and choice, I think we are also capable of focusing on thankfulness and gratitude, as you did when you made choices to do so. We literally override the conversations in our brains and focus on the positive. I think this is a very real process that can have amazing results in the direction of our lives. I like your word “habituated.” I think that is relevant here.
I have another question: What if we naturally thought the best of a situation, others or ourselves? When I ponder possible scenarios, I come up with a harmonious and lovely result. I might even call it heaven. But what kind of a world do we live in? One that is filled with violence, corruption, greed, power over, manipulation, coercion, and all the rest of the deadly habits. So it appears to be obvious that our natural inclination is to ponder, dwell upon, devise and scheme negativity. We do it habitually as Suzy suggested. The fact that there is a real and attainable alternative makes it our sacred duty to share. Keep up the good work all you Choice Theory friends. Let’s not give up, even when we seem overwhelmed with the negativity that surrounds us. I too believe that we are designed for an extraordinary life of happiness, satisfaction, love, and purpose, so I will keep offering this Divine potential to all in my sphere of influence.
Thank you for this word of encouragement, Karen. It is timely for me right now.